Addicted to Knitting

Something different

Posted on: August 18, 2007

A while back I felt the nudging to be more open about my faith here on this blog. I have ignored this thinking “no one reads this” Which is a lie…I have 2 nice ladies who read and comment. Thank you Leah and Beth! So why am I still not sharing my faith? Maybe because my faith has been so rocky. The soil of my heart has been rocky and the cares of this world have been choking out the Word of God. I am really working on having better soil for the word to grow in. I started a new book. Its called Every day deserves a chance. So far the book has changed the way I view each day.

This morning’s reading was about forgiveness. The story started out about 2 men hoarding stuff in their house for many years and how a stack of newspapers killed one of them. He was killed because he refused to let go of the garbage. Very fitting to me right now. I could visualize this after working on my MIL’s basement and see how much stuff a person could hoard in a 20 year period. (that how long she’d lived in current house) But then Ole Max hit my heart. How many things do I keep in my heart that don’t belong? Old hurts? Words that shouldn’t have been spoken? Slights by women at church whether intentional or not? and here is the big one….my own sins? You see I was the worst of sinners….I began my teen years using drugs, alcohol and sex to escape the pain of my upbringing and the loss of my dad to suicide. This carried over into my adult life. My oldest child was 5 years old when I went to treatment and by then Oh the things he had seen. I was drug free and sober for a number of years but I hadn’t given it all to Christ and went back to the drugs. This was after my daughter was born. But here is the big one I HAVE to forgive and its so hard. I was using stimulants when I was pg with my 10y/o and he has the effects of that on his life. The Lord has forgiven me…Why can’t I forgive myself? Do I want to carry that garbage inside me till it falls on me and destroys me? NO! So this mornings prayer was that I forgive others and myself. That I let God’s grace shine on and in my life.

Our pastor has been preaching lately about people who are saved not showing the fruits of the spirit. Man that hits home! I know God’s grace but do I know his law? Do I reflect His glory in my daily life?

Yes this is all very deep this early Saturday morning. But perhaps I am getting to the place where I will be able to let go of the garbage and truly live for Jesus!

4 Responses to "Something different"

How brave!

Don’t think for a minute that the Spirit can’t bring these words to those who need it.

I learned long ago that every painful event in my life shaped me into a person that can touch others lives at the point they need it most. Live in the word, in faith, and you’ll get there. It’s a promise.

Hi Marti,

I really liked hearing about the crushing pile of newspaper again; I’d heard that one before and even though it is REALLY sad there’s an important lesson in all of that. How many things DO we keep in our hearts that don’t belong or don’t fit anymore?

Thanks for reminding me.

Love,

Your SP 11

I think forgiving ourselves and then forgetting is the hardest thing. When I’ve attended Third Day concerts, Mac Powell encourages the audience to close their eyes and picture themselves handing their burdens to Jesus. Then he instructs us NOT to take them back. đŸ™‚ I always leave those concerts feeling so wonderful. I’ll pray that you’ll be able to forgive yourself.

Forgive me for commenting a week late, but it seems I am a week late in everything right now! I just wanted to tell you not to worry about how many people comment on your blog posts. I only have one or two as well on each post, but my webmaster installed a visitor counter in the background that only I can see, and it tells me that from ten to more than one hundred people read each blog who don’t comment. These are real readers and not just search engines looking for sites to leave those crazy advertisements on!

So, my point is that whatever God puts in your heart to write please do so, because more people are reading it than you know! You are blesssing many people with the message you share.

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