Addicted to Knitting

Archive for August 2nd, 2008

When I was a kid I always wanted to be in a parade. I wasn’t one of those children who did 4H, girl scouts or any fun club activity that would land me in a parade. I was the child who watched from the sidelines to scared to try, wishing it was me. I was the child in hand me down clothes that everyone laughed at and teased. It’s strange how that sort of thing stays with you your whole life. I still struggle at times in groups situations, wondering if I belong or not. My daughter on the other hand is the opposite. Oh she has had some teasing over the years but at age 14 she has really come into her own. She has faith in the Lord and had some awesome training by a youth pastor a year ago. She is so funny. She is the biggest klutz (gets that from me) and has learned to laugh at herself because of this. Her confidence comes in knowing who HE has made her and that HE has plans for her. I often think that I get to watch her live the life I so desired. By the time I was her age it was not good in my life. My dad committed suicide when I was 12 and my mom really lost it for a while. She was clueless as to what I was doing and I was into drugs, alcohol and trouble. I know deep inside I longed to be one of the “good” kids and although I had accepted the Lord at age 12 I really had no one to teach me how to grow and become what He desired. I believed I couldn’t be good enough for God to love me and that I was bound for eternal damnation. I know now that I had to go through all that I did in order to become the person I am today. The person I am today relies on God to help me raise my children so they might in turn serve him. Funny how this post came about. Today is our parade for the BHC fair and my daughter will be waiving from a convertible as a princess. I feel very proud as the driver of her car and her mom because I know what she said at the Princess competition. She was asked (did I tell you this already? sorry if I did its just on my mind) what she would change about herself if she could change anything…she didn’t say to be thinner or smarter or more popular. She stated that she wished she loved people more, that “the world doesn’t revolve around me, it revolves around the son and the son is Jesus our savior”
I hope I am not letting my pride get the best of me but I am very proud of her. She is a typical 14 year old and far from perfect (last night she was pouting because I didn’t trust her enough to go to the dance-how do you explain it’s not her it’s the drunk cowboys that you don’t trust?) her room is usually on the verge of being condemned and her music drives me nuts (Christian screamo? isn’t that an oxymoron?) But today I am going to enjoy her moment in the parade knowing Christ brought us to this place.

So today it’s a parade, in ten years maybe she will be speaking at Women of Faith (her dream and what she feels is her calling) or maybe not. Whatever comes I want to enjoy each moment as a gift from the Lord. Have a great day everyone! ( I forgot to mention she doesn’t want to be in the parade, she entered the contest at my urging, hoping to win so she could pay off her text messaging bill)

August 2008